Let's Play!

https://video.wixstatic.com/video/44cdd4_50acc659db7c4dab969d0c47eb4bcab9/1080p/mp4/file.mp4

Kitty loves to push the barrel. No whip. No commands. Just a couple of toys and some suggestions. Ears are for dramatic effect.

Watching animals has taught me how much attentiveness matters to them. I see it with my cats when they ambush each other during playtime. One will hide and wait patiently for the other to pass, then leap out in an attempt to startle them. The game only “works” if the surprise is genuine. Timing and awareness are everything. They work at it, plotting the next move, the best hiding spot. They never seem to get bored of it.

I’ve observed something similar with horses. I once watched a newly introduced bay horse repeatedly single out the paint in the herd. The bay would wait until the paint seemed relaxed and distracted, then suddenly charge from across the field. This happened over and over throughout the afternoon, much to the paint’s frustration. It didn’t feel like play; it felt like there was some hierarchy being worked out.

I’ve also noticed that horses seem to sense the exact moment you stop paying attention. That is often when they choose to nip, drift away, or test a boundary. They are highly attuned to subtle shifts in focus and presence.

It makes sense that alertness would be fundamental in the wild. Survival depends on it. In a herd it's a shared responsibility to keep an eye out for danger.

But it also makes sense that animals would turn vigilance into a game—practicing awareness, timing, and responsiveness in ways that sharpen their instincts while keeping the stakes low.

I like the game aspect of attentiveness. I’ve woven this into my relationship with Kitty. Sometimes I wait until she’s fully absorbed in grazing, then quietly slip behind a tree or into the brush and “ambush” her. Years of time in, work and mutual respect have built the kind of relationship that makes this possible. She knows I’m not a threat. I know she won't kick me.

When I do manage to surprise her, the response is immediate and genuine—she startles, tosses her head, maybe springs forward with a burst of energy. But she never goes far and there is always a look - as if to say "you got me". She'll quickly settle and return to what she was doing, often positioning herself in a way that feels like an invitation—like she’s leaving the door open for the game to continue.

What stands out to me is that it doesn’t make her anxious or wary. There’s no guardedness afterward, no increase in distance or suspicion. Instead, there’s a lightness to it. The exchange feels mutual, contained within the trust we’ve established. It seems she understands that this is play, she participates accordingly and it brings us closer.

So what separates play from threat?

It is the pause. It is the return to harmony after the excitement. It is the ability to soften together. It is the attunement. It's also the self control.

If the moment was too intense, you apologize. You step back dramatically, turn away, release pressure, and allow space. You watch from a distance for the moment the horse decide the interaction is safe again. You wait days, even weeks, before revisiting it—and when you do, you start softly. A suggestion. An invitation. You adopt a playful attitude to let them know what you are about to do. That is what tells the horse it's a game. You watch for consent.

There must be rules. There must be respect. There must be a habit of good manners. It must feel safe for both of you.

And it is absolutely worth it.

Play sharpens the mind and regulates emotion. It builds resilience and confidence. Done well, play is one of those magical things that heals. There will be a moment when they reciprocate: the cats stalk me, Kitty suddenly offers a Spanish walk or knocks over a barrel to push it with her nose, as if proposing the next round.

These moments are simply the best.

In the wild, you stay alive by never fully switching off. In relationship, you learn who it is safe to relax around. Vigilance is woven into in the nervous system of prey and predator alike but so is play. It keeps bodies fit and minds sharp. It brings the tribe closer. It makes life easier.

With Kitty, surprise is not a threat—it’s an invitation. She looks for those moments when I give her that look and she responds with joy and intensity. New challenges are an opportunity for fun. Alertness becomes shared energy. Our games feel like the quiet proof of our connection—one that is safe, mutual, and sincere.

This is her time spinning around the sun as much as mine. My promise is to make sure she enjoys it too.